Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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