yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
