Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
