I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
