god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
