Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
