I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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