just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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