let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
