very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
