Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
