the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
