Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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