I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
