We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
