2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
