i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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