He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
