so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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