if you like me you must not know who I am
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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