3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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