can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize