I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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