i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
