i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
my liver is dry heaving
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
