I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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