Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
