What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
