so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
