You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just had sex bonerless
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
