That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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