i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
