He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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