i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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