Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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