Rock
Scissors
Fuck
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
