even my farts smell like vagina
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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