when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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