he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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