I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
