Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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