A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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