I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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