Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
