so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize