I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
