Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
