Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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