Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize