so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
