I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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