I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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