Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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