I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
