she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
