Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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