Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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