I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
