I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drunk is not a location!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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