I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
