Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
