I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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