PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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